"UNDER COLLAPSING SHELF", a Mini-Death Tale

As a thank-you for reviewing This Is How You Die: Stories Of The Inscrutable, Infallible, Inescapable Machine Of Death, contributor 'Nathan Burgoine wrote a "mini-death" tale for each of the reviewers, picking a card from that dread machine himself.  My review is here and this is the death that was dealt to me.  I am especially chuffed by it because 'Nathan could have had no idea ahead of time, but the though of this particular death would terrify me, so I was tickled and traumatized at the same time!  Thank you, 'Nathan!

"In return for his lovely review of This is How You Die, here's the fourth "mini-death" thank you story. The reviewer drew "UNDER COLLAPSING SHELF" from my remaining cards, but you can get a result from the http://www.machineofdeath.com/ site, too.

If you want a mini-death tale of your own, just write a review of This is How You Die wherever you'd like, and link it back to this page for me (or my facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/apostrophen).

UNDER COLLAPSING SHELF

Finding a house without them had been too tricky, so in the end, he took a generous part of his inheritance and had a small home of his own design built. A perk, he supposed, of being an interior designer.

A retired interior designer.

Thanks to the world of e-reading, he didn’t miss his books, and thanks to online streaming, he didn’t miss his movies. Shoes and sweaters were placed on the floor, or inside hollow bench-seats that run along all the glass windows that faced the other side of the valley. He had similar ones installed in the kitchen – the other most challenging room, given the limitations. Top-load freezers and fridges.

Reselling, if it ever came to that, would be a bitch.

Still, it wasn’t the weirdest home that had been built since the machines had appeared. He’d heard of a woman who’d received SPLINTER as her result, and had a house built entirely of adobe and stone. 

He smiled, and went out to sit on the stone deck. There was no cover – that felt a bit too similar to him – and besides, it was a cool night with no rain. He drank some wine, and relaxed, and opened his portfolio. He set to work with a pencil, sketching out a rough idea for a Thai-Japanese fusion restaurant that had hired him to design their tables and chairs.

He only noticed the first tremor when it caused his pencil to scratch a line he hadn’t intended. He looked up when it happened again, frowning. He picked up his phone and thumbed the screen, moving to the social networks. The hashtags crossed his screen even as he watched.

#Earthquake.

He raised his eyebrows. It was his first in the new home. He refreshed the screen, and one of the hashtags was linked to an article. He tapped the screen.

It was a history of the earthquakes in the coastal areas, due to the nearby fault line and the continental shelf.

He dropped the glass of wine, and it shattered as the earthquake began in earnest."

Yes, I hate earthquakes...happy reading!

Review: THIS IS HOW YOU DIE edited by Ryan North, Matthew Bennardo and David Malki ! (Grand Central Publishing)

In 2010, there was quite a lot of buzz around a new anthology entitled Machine of Death which collected stories exploring a single premise; a machine that could predict, without fail, the manner in which you would die.  All it needed was a sample of your blood and a tiny slip of paper would have your ultimate fate written on it.  I myself never read it but definitely had it on the ever growing TBR pile.  Then this year, the editors unleashed upon the world a sequel, This Is How You Die: Stories of the Inscrutable, Infallible, Inescapable Machine of Death.  Word of mouth was that this volume was even bigger, better and not to be missed.  So I gave in to the siren song, threw caution to the wind and picked up This Is How You Die.

The collection opens with the heartbreakingly brilliant Old Age, Surrounded by Loved Ones by 'Nathan Burgoine.  Burgoine is now on my list of go-to writers that I know will deliver a great story; I have yet to be disappointed.  Also, the story wasn't what I expected at all; Burgoine has written an emotional story about sisters that will require tissues after reading it.  If you're not teary eyed after this, then you have no heart to break.  

Other favorites:

Execution by Beheading by Chandler Kaiden is a thriller that features three children who, upon hearing a rumor about someone who is different, go to extremes to collect a rare "Cause Of Death" card from their machine...

Apitoxin is a very clever spin on the book's premise by John Takis, who places his tale right in the hands of none other than Sherlock Holmes.  Apitoxin is both a wonderful tribute to the famous detective and a well written mystery that was great fun to read.

Monsters from the Deep, editor David Malki !'s contribution to the anthology, is a weird, creepy tale complete with aliens and a delightful Lovecraftian atmosphere.

Lake Titicaca by editor Matthew Bennardo instantly reminded me of The Body and Goonies, with kids a little afraid of what they're doing but too excited not to go off and have an adventure.

Be warned: This Is How You Die is indeed a long book but the stories are so varied and encompass so many genres that you will continually be pulled along to keep reading, unwilling to put the book down. And with a collection like this, that is exactly what you want; great story after great story that keeps you glued to the page til the last sentence is read.

Then you start over again.

Happy reading!